i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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