when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You ruined the universe
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
