she was so not down for the gang bang
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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