If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
