sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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