it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize