my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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