Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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