pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
