And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
