there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize
