she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
