I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
