O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
