I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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