glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
