only if we run a train.
done.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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