My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize