yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
