Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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