I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just want nice things and good sex
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
