i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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