I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
