Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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