Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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