Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
