pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
