i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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