I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
