Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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