its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
