I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
