I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
