apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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