Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
