apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You had me at "let me see your balls"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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