I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
