This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
