I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
