my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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