just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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