I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
