you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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