she looked like the before picture.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
