He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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