I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
