Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
