She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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