somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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