The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize