My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
