How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Send help, water and tortillas.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
