My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
