I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
