Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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