drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize
