Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
