I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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