Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
