They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
