addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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