Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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